PROGRAM

TITRATION (2022) Shara Nova

—East Coast premiere—

1. Freeze State
2. Safety In Peril or Calm
3. What’s the Vibe, Vagus?
4. Titration 1
5. How Do I Keep On Feelin’ In This Mean, Mean, World?
6. Emotion Wheel
7. Patterns of Protection
8. The Grief of Which I Rarely Speak
9. Titration 2
10. Turn Ya Head
11. Imagine A Favorite Place
12. I Seek to Change These Habits
13. Yes / No
14. I’m So Mad I Could Spit Nails
15. Notice Sensation
16. Pulses
17. Titration 3

NOTES + TEXTS

TITRATION
music and words by Shara Nova

TITRATION was commissioned by The Crossing - Donald Nally, conductor, the Warren Miller Performing Arts Center in Big Sky, Montana, & Conspirare - Craig Hella Johnson, conductor; with support from Anne and Dennis Wentz and the Joel Brauer Fund for New Music.

a note from the composer:

TITRATION is an hour long choral song cycle composed by Shara Nova which examines difficult emotions like fear, sorrow, disgust or rage through the lens of the nervous system and utilizes body-centered practices that develop one’s capacity to calm oneself when such emotions arise.  In these times of conflict and crisis, how can we feel more, rather than less?

With simple actions like humming, shaking, holding hands or intentional laughter, the song cycle explores ways that we can soothe our nervous systems, foster a sense of safety, and grow in our capacity to connect with each other.

This music is greatly influenced by the Somatic Abolitionist body of work and practices of Resmaa Menakem.  “Somatic Abolitionism is a living embodied Anti-Racism practice and culture building that requires endurance, agility, resource cultivation, stamina, discernment, self and communal discipline cultivation, embodied racial literacy and humility.  These can be built, day by day, through reps.  These communal life and invitational reps will temper and condition your body, your mind, and your soul to hold the charge of race.”   By exposing a person to distress, then taking a pause to calm the body, one learns to pay close attention to the body sensations experienced and when revisiting the traumatic event, a person gradually becomes better able to process the pain. 

Analogizing the healing techniques, the word “titration” is sung throughout the work, appearing in brief episodes which function as a “pause” between the more intensely emotional songs. 

Additional influence for this work comes from polyvagal theory author Deb Dana, as well as practices by Qi-gong teacher Master Chunyi Lin and Laughter Yoga.

1– Freeze State

Freeze State

Motionless
So afraid
Of danger

Freeze
f-f-f-f-f-f-fr

So afraid
I could not sleep
I could not eat

So afraid
I didn’t know what to do

Unblinking
What are you talking about?
Say you are sorry.
A blank-ness
I told you not to go over there
If you touch him again I’m going to break your hand
Stare at the wall
I didn’t know what to do
Stare at the wall
Come to the bathroom
I didn’t know what to do

… but ff-ff-ff-ff-ff-freeze

Wiggle it out 

2– Safety In Peril or Calm

Safety in peril or calm 
I hum to myself 
I am returning home 
whenever and wherever I hum 
Turning in 

Tune to myself 
Where is the pulse? 
How do I feel? 
and if I still don’t know
 pause 
If I still can't find calm
pause

3– What’s the Vibe, Vagus?

Vibe
What's the vibe?
How do you know before you know?
How do you know
what’s the vibe?  
Vagus!

4– Titration 1

Titration

5– How Do I Keep On Feelin’ In This Mean, Mean World?

How do I keep on feelin’ in this mean, mean world?
How do I keep this softness alive with all this dying?
How do I build myself strong for the task at hand?
How?  How? 
How do I keep on feelin’ when I want to hide away?
Stay 
Stay in the feeling
Stay in the feeling body
How?
Stay in the feeling in body

6– Emotion Wheel

A. Surprise   
B. Happiness      
C. Sadness          
D. Disgust    
E. Anger      
F. Fear 
G. Panic / Overwhelm      
H. Surprise
I. Happiness
J. Disgust / Disappointment / Desperation / Repulsion /
Anger / Delight / Stress / Annoyance / Exasperation / Fury

7– Patterns of Protection

Pa
Pat
Patterns
Patterns of Protection

Notice the Silences
Notice the Subject Change
Notice the Shaking
Notice the Rage

Mother taught me the pattern
Father taught me the pattern
Neighbors kept a consensus

Patterns of Protection
Change the Pattern

8– The Grief of Which I Rarely Speak

The grief of which I rarely speak
finds its sound in private spaces      

The hole of my mouth
is a pathway to the bottomless inkwell    

I look for you in the blowing grass
I search for your cloud in my teacup
I check under my bootsoles 
are you there? 

in the hole in the sky
a hole in the ground
the lights have changed in my constellation
how do I know where I am without you?
In the wake of your passing I ache.

To those with easy sayings
To those with short answers,
leave me and let me weep a while.

The grief of which I rarely speak
And to know… 
I ache.  

In the wake of your passing, I ache.
I know you in the blowing grass
I know the cloud in my teacup
I check under my bootsoles
Are you there?

In the sky
The ground
Lights have changed in my constellation
How do I know where I am
Lights
How do I know
The lights

9– Titration 2

Titration

10– Turn Ya Head

Look Look Around
Turn ya head around
Notice the exits
Notice the window
Notice the entrances
Notice the path leading away  
Notice the body 
Notice the change  
Notice sensation
Tingling
Numbness
Pressure

11– Imagine A Favorite Place

Imagine a favorite place
An open green field
Or a blowing wind through the forest

Imagine a favorite resting place
A candle flame on your nightstand
The coffee smell on the morning air
The afternoon light on your hugging chair

Imagine an ocean side or a cloud ride…

12– I Seek To Change These Habits

I seek to change these habits of avoidance
I disrupt my comfort
I interrupt my numbness
I brave disintegration
Exchange shame through honorable deeds

I seek to trade these habits of avoidance
For a new pattern 
I disrupt my comfort
I interrupt my numbness
I brave disintegration
Exchange shame through honorable deeds

Do not abandon high ideals
Habits of harm
Do not run to distraction
Unresolved disappointments
Be curious curious
Projected fear
Curious
            In cellular pattern

Increase        Joy
          your discomfort to find more Joy
Embrace this Terror
                      Joy
with persistent kindness
and insistence 
Curious           
Persistent Kindness
Curious
Kindness
Kindness

13– Yes / No

Yes / No

14– I’m So Mad I Could Spit Nails

I’m so mad I could spit nails   
I might shoot fire from my ears 

M y    r a g e
    M y   r a g e
My rage is as old as an age

Titrate  Try  Titration
Voo Voo 
My rage

My eyes are daggers for days 
I make my point in different ways
My throat’s aflame a fire
My belly burnin’ up with ire
Comin’ easy to my lips
I’m so mad I could spit

I’m so mad I could spit nails
Somatic I could spit nails
I’m so mad             

The feeling got me sick
I’m so mad I could spit
Enough!  Enough!  Enough!  You are a pain in the neck
Enough! Enough! Enough! You might be my death
My rage 
My head is burnin’ up
My head is burnin’
My rage
From where do you shake?

Shake it out
Shake it out
Shake it out
Shake it out
Pause 

15– Notice Sensation

Check in with the Body
Pause
Notice constriction
Notice the places of movement
Notice
The gripping

The buzz

Notice the rate of your breath
The width of your shoulders
The feeling in your hips
Notice
What is the body telling you?
Pause
Practice the pausing

Notice sensation

16– Pulses

Do you know when we hold hands our pulses find one another?
Did you know when we hold hands our pulses find each other?
Find each other…
When we find each other, our pulses meet 

17– Titration 3

TEAM

The Crossing

Katy Avery 
Karen Blanchard
Micah Dingler
Joanna Gates
Dimitri German
Steven Hyder
A.J. Keller
Lauren Kelly
Anika Kildegaard
Maren Montalbano
Daniel O’Dea
Dan Taylor
Kyle Sackett 
Becky Siler 
Daniel Spratlan
Tiana Sorenson
Shari Wilson

Donald Nally, conductor
Kevin Vondrak, assistant conductor
John Grecia, keyboards
John Conahan, John Walthausen, guest rehearsal accompanists
Paul Vazquez, sound design
Jonathan Bradley, executive director
Stephanie Lantz-Goldstein, development manager
Shannon McMahon, operations manager
Elizabeth Dugan, bookkeeper

The Crossing’s concerts are recorded by Paul Vazquez 
of Digital Mission Audio Services — digitalmissiononline.com

Concert artwork by Sasan Pix

#ComeHearNow